All parents have trying times with their children. As much as you love them, sometimes it’s easy to let your temper take over. After all, you’re only human.
But thankfully, as a human you also have the power of intention and intellect. You can create the intention of not losing your temper, and due to your intellect study ways to cope that do not involve blowing your top. It takes practice, but with practice you can succeed. You are not at the mercy of your emotions.
- Take a Beat — Count to three, (or ten), change your environment, give yourself a time out. Whatever you need to do to change the rising emotion inside of you will help. Taking the time to leave the situation can help. If you can also think of something different during the time your temper is flaring, like how sweet your child looks when they’re sleeping, that can help calm you down.
- Turn Your Thinking Upside Down — Typically anger can turn irrational pretty fast. Before you know it, you’re saying things you will regret. You start thinking in absolutes. Nothing will ever get better ever, everything is falling apart, the kids are always incorrigible. Remember there are no absolutes. In just a short time things will be a lot better. In fact, maybe in just a few minutes.
- Focus on Problem Solving — If you find that you’re losing your temper at regular times, try to focus on solving the problem that is causing it. For instance, if bedtime is always a struggle, try to change things up. Experiment with different bedtime routines in order to calm the situation. Whenever there is a problem, try to find the cause and solve it.
- Communicate Better — Remember that when angry it’s a bad time to try to communicate, especially if you tend to say bad things about or to the person you’re angry with. Instead of saying what comes to mind always take your time saying what you mean without the emotion behind it. Children can understand your words, and they don’t need you to yell at them. In fact, the quieter you talk, the more they’re forced to quiet down and listen.
- Use Humor — Honestly, the best thing to do is to try to find the humor in the situation. Children grow up so quickly. Before you know it, you’ll be at their graduation watching them collect their high school diplomas and everything that happened before will be just a memory. Why not make them good memories?
Taking the time to breathe, change how you think, focus on problem solving, practice better communication and use humor. These things will help you get through your children’s lives without losing your temper during frustrating moments. Remember, children someday look back on their lives through adult eyes, and they remember a lot more than you might thing. You will also remember everything too, make them good memories.