Every parent goes through the emotional rollercoaster of having their once innocent and sweet child look them in the eye and say “I won’t do it” “You can’t make me do what I don’t want to do.”
Nothing matches the pain you feel when those words start coming out of your kid’s mouth. You may be having problems with your children opposing everything you say, shouting and screaming at you, or refusing to do what they are told. You are not alone.
As a way of comforting yourself, you may start believing that your son or your daughter is going through a phase and that it will soon pass. Most of the time, you may be right.
Most kids go through a period in their lives where they feel they do not have to answer to anyone but it eventually goes away. However, what happens when you realize that your kid has chosen to be outright rebellious? Where do you begin searching for answers and how do you deal with an unruly child?
I hope by practicing these tips you will begin seeing pleasant changes in your kid’s behavior.
Best ways of handling a rebellious child:
- Be clear when setting the rules.
Children need to know the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior. You have to set clear rules for them. Make sure they are aware of the punishment they will receive if they are disobedient or if they yell at you or each other.
- Administer the exact punishment that has been stated.
Your defiant child will only take you seriously if you stand by what you say without compromising. After you have spoken to your kid about the punishment that will be received after behaving in such and such a manner make sure you administer the punishment if the rules are broken. Avoid negotiating the penalty once the offense has been committed no matter how much your child begs or cries. It is the only way of instilling obedience and making them see how bad their behavior is.
- Avoid acting out of anger.
Reacting emotionally to your kid’s disobedience is natural. After all, you are human. Nonetheless, acting out of anger will not help anyone. You have to put your emotions aside if you want to help your child realize his errors. Take charge of the situation and have the upper hand. If you feel you cannot control your emotions give your children a timeout and address their actions after calming down.
- Ask your child why he acts the way he does.
Sometimes asking your children why they behave the way they do will open your eyes to some of the things you are blind to. You may be surprised to realize that your kid’s rebellion has nothing to do with you failing as a parent but it has everything to do with being bullied at school. Perhaps your son has a difficult time making friends and so he feels he is not good enough. Do not get me wrong, not all rebellious kids have a difficult time making friends, and not all of them are bullied at school. My point is that most of the time, their rebellion is caused by a much deeper issue or problem they have but don’t feel comfortable discussing with anyone. So, wait for your kid to calm down before trying to get to the root of the problem or try bringing the subject up when your child is in good spirits.
No matter how insubordinate you think your children are, there is more to them than meets the eye. They can improve and become everything you have been hoping for.
The key to accomplishing what you want to achieve with your child is remaining calm, getting him to open up, standing by your word, holding him accountable for his actions, seeing the best in him as well as encouraging good behavior.